A Sarcastic Bit*h’s New Year’s Resolutions for Media Sales

sarcastic new year's resolutions for media sales

We at Efficio wish you a happy, healthy and prosperous new year!
New Years Greeting, Chinatown, 1912. Bain News Service, publisher. Library of Congress.

Yeah, we are all going to lose weight, call our parents, spend more time with our kids, give to charity, and make one more new business call every day.

These resolutions will last until someone brings donuts to work, your mom asks again when you are going to come by, your kid’s play time gets in the way of the football game on TV, your first quarter commission check goes to pay for Christmas so you will start that charitable giving in second quarter, and you are too busy with all the minutia at work to make that new business call (but I will make two tomorrow – promise!).

So, with a hint of sarcasm (sarcasm? ME?), here are some New Year’s resolutions some people in media sales CAN keep:

  1. I resolve to keep track of my life in a DayTimer, Franklin planner, or on a legal pad. I do not need a CRM system or technology telling me what to do. It is a waste of time and I don’t need reminders. I can use Post-it notes and stick them on my monitor if it is important. And I don’t really want anyone to know where I am going or what I am doing anyway.
  2. I resolve to give my manager peace-of-mind by appearing to work hard. I will show up each morning, make the rounds so everyone knows I am here and working, then leave with purpose, giving the impression that I have an important appointment. I will return each day at the end of the day to answer emails and return phone calls. What I do in between doesn’doesn’t really matter as long as I appear to be working hard.
  3. I resolve not to waste my customer’s time by asking them a bunch of questions. I know how much they can spend, so I will bring them packages that fit into the budget they have spent in the past. They like a good deal as much as the next guy. I know they will say “no” more often than not, but a “no” is one step closer to a “yes,” because eventually they will buy something, right?  And then I can tell my manager I did present that package we had for Valentine’s Day or the Super Bowl.
  4. I resolve to hang on tightly to every account in my name. If I am limited in the number of accounts I can have, I will technically put them up for grabs, but will make it clear to anyone else who wants a shot at them that these clients have a relationship with me and don’t want anyone else to call on them. As this annoying CRM system is limiting me, it would be a waste of your time (and I would get you back, and we know about paybacks, don’t we?). I will hang on to these accounts because you just never know when the fax machine will spit out an unexpected order, and when it does, it will probably be one of my accounts.

Finally, for Managers –

  • I resolve to hold my media sales people accountable to the “do as I say, not as I do” philosophy. Once they have reached my position, they can take off a little early, play a few holes on a sunny Friday, or not use the technology to keep track of pendings and meetings if they don’t want to. I am very busy with a lot of stress on me that they don’t understand. But they had better use their CRM, their calendar, be accountable and give me a full-day-plus to be as successful as I am.

Make resolutions you will keep, that will help you make more money in media sales, and that will buy you time so you can spend it calling your parents and doing things with your kids. Happy 2014.

By Kitty Malone, Efficio Solutions Manager of Client Services



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By | 2015-12-24T15:05:53+00:00 December 31st, 2013|Blog, Media Sales|0 Comments